ZACKADAMS.ORG

I BLAME SHAIN TWAIN

By Shane “I don’t impress you much” Adamczak

I lost twenty followers on Twitter over night

I’m not sure what went wrong.

The numbers often fluctuate

I’m used to that now

I can’t seem to crack eighteen hundred

I’ve made my piece with that.

But this was a noticeable loss.

I felt it in my heart

I felt in my ego.

I felt it.

But all I really posted yesterday was that picture of a bad Shania Twain tattoo that I drew.

Is that why you ran away? Coward.

Did that offend you?

Did that not make you feel like a woman?

Did that not impress you much?

From this moment on- are you not going to follow me?

Is that what happened?

Why did you leave?

Could I win you back, would I even want that?

No, I’m glad you’re gone.

You were the weak one.

I’m still here.

I’ll tweet on your grave.

No one will mourn you.

Fuck you. That tweet was funny.

All who remain are powerful and smart

And handsome and sexy and strong.

I lost twenty followers overnight.

I blame Shania Twain.

I realise now

I’m never getting a blue tick.

– @ShaneAdamczak