So last at last year’s Edmonton Fringe I started a little tradition called The Zackie Awards, a bunch of made-up (and mostly stupid) awards for all my awesome artist friends in the festival. They proved so popular that everyone asked me to do them again, so at 2am on the last Saturday of the festival we all packed out the Steel Wheels and we presented the 2ND ANNUAL ZACKIE AWARDS!
Here’s all the winners…
1. The Attendance & Participation Award – Everybody.
2. The”Mad Abs” Award – from laughing all the way to the bank – Sam Mullins and Andrew bailey
3. Where the fuck is Mullins Award for most absent fringe performer – Jem Rolls
(Honourable mention) Kristian Reimer
4. Most Disturbing FLYERING presence/OMG do you have you DICK OUT!?! Award – The Bouffons from “YOU KILLED HAMLET”
5. “I hope you’re hungry, because you’re about eat a pantload of whimsy/We’ll take you heart fill it with the love and light of 1000 suns and then smash it into a million pieces Award” – Countries Shaped Like Stars
6. GINGER FIRE AWARD: Why are there so many gingers in this fest? Don’t they know they’ll have to go out in the sun?
Honorable mentions – Vanessa Quesnelle (The Pit) Christel Bartelse (Circle) & Penny Ashton (Promise & Promiscuity)
WINNERS– Patrick Hercamp (Sound & Fury), Johhny Walker (Amusement), Rebecca Perry (Confessions Of A Redhead Coffeeshop Girl), Sharon Nolan – (Medicine), Holly Von sin (Adore Canada) and Tara Travis (Til Death)
7. Sorry there’s no artist lounge other than this bit of car park but if you REALLY want, you can sit on my face …Award (for performer that really needs to get laid)
Runner up – PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY!!!
WINNER – James Jangl
8. Fuck you I want a space helmet! – Charles (Mobyu Alpha) & Johnny Tomorrow Chronicles
9. I like big butts and I cannot lie ice ice baby push it real good AWARD – (best white guy rap presence)
Erika Kate Mcdonald (Tap Me On The Shoulder), Chase Padgett & The Flow Bros, Kevin Gillese and The Duettes
10. Little drummer boy (Best Late Night Cabaret Performance)
Honorable mentions – The Duettes, Little Sam Mullins, Jesse the intern and Martin DOCKERY sucking a vodka tampon.
WINNER – Peter ‘n Chris
11. Worst Aussie accent (& keeping it up all fringe) – Penny Ashton and Matt Harvey
12. Where’s “Seashell & Rocket?” I love those clowns, i wish they had shows this year AWARD – Christine Lesiak (Ask Aggie) and Adam Keefe (Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas)
13. I’d let you put your stick in MY backpack award – king and queen of poster on a stick – Tim Murphy & Annette (Hitler’s little abomination)
14. We Got No place Else To Go Award for best late night hangout – The Late Night Cabaret and Steel Wheels
A ZACKIE included a bunch of “stars” to use on reviews, an eraser (because we all make mistakes), a spool of your unsold tickets, a six-sided die (because who you get to review your show is always a gamble) and a candle (because chicks dig candles n’ shit)
See you at the 2014 ZACKIES!
-S